Sexually We're Different, will this still work?
Though sex may not be the end all be all in a relationship we can’t deny that it’s still very important. If we are being honest for a moment though it’s not very often that both people are equally as into sex, even from the beginning. Sometimes you all may have spoke the exact same sexual levels and through changing circumstances such as being together for a longgg time or marriage or children it’s very possible that one person may not have sex as high as a priority as they once did.
When people indulge in infidelity and they say that they still love their partner they’re probably telling the truth BUT at some point they needed the release to be their sexual self. Now this is not all cases but it definitely is a portion.
What does it mean to be sexually different from each other? We’ve all been there where we have been apart of a relationship where one person was either prude, or constantly turned down sex advances, never came on to us, liked to do the same thing ALL the time or never wanted to try anything new for whatever reasons. Now if both people enjoy and have no complaint that’s perfectly fine but most times one person is feeling like they are going to burst if they don’t let out the beast.
Can it work if two people are sexually different? Have different levels of sexuality and still be happy? The answer is yes.
Now that’s a loaded yes because that yes comes with some stipulations. You can be sexually different and still not feel suppressed but of course it takes communication.
If the two people can discuss the fact that one person feels suppressed and the other can express that just don’t have the same urges and they can accept that each other is different then yes.
If the couple can make a compromise, such as if the suppressed person explains that they too have deal breakers and can voice them to the other without judgment then yes.
If the less sexual or wanting person accepts that their partner may have some healthy sexual releases that don’t include them since they don’t want to such as masturbating to make up the difference then yes.
If the EFFORT to grow together sexually can be measured, and there’s REAL change occurring, then yes.
Now one may wonder why wouldn’t someone want to have good sex?! Well the person who doesn’t want to all the time may be feeling a lot of things themselves such as:
Maybe the sex isn’t that good to them
They feel like they’re sexing out of obligation
Too stressed & is handling more than the partner realizes
It’s all gotten old (been doing the same thing way too long)
Have interests that may be embarrassing for them
Haven’t tapped into what kinky things they really enjoy
My suggestions to begin a discussion and to start the work needed to be happy in a relationship where sexually you all are different are:
Start with talking. Sit down in a not threatening and lose environment. Where one shouldn’t feel threated and let them know that you love them but sexually you feel that you need more. Open the floor into explaining yourselves and how your sexuality is and ask each other questions. Really get to know each other.
Do a sex cleanse. There is a chance that you all need to bridge the disconnect, maybe you all have become emotionally withdrawn and it just feels like an act which can be a turn off.
After you all have talked and found what each other needs, whether she needs you to help more with the kids or he needs you to make more advances towards him then GIVE IT TIME. No one is going to change overnight and badgering the conversation expecting things to change immediately is not going to spark any sexual moods.
Lastly, make sure you are being a giver. If you all are both worried bout what each other needs then your back is already covered.
Now this doesn’t mean someone won’t need to masturbate anymore but it will help either spark what’s left or either bridge a gap with compromise and understanding that someone isn’t there so you all can be more sexually compatible and happier in the differences that you all do have.