Threesomes..to 3 or not to 3 that is the Question

 

 

Heyyy Fam (In my Angela Yee voice) I know it’s been a while but I am back with a new blog topic for y’all! I am going to do my best to make these a weekly thing again because those Instagram posts just don’t allow enough space for me to discuss some of these topics. So let’s get to it!

 

The other day I asked a question: What are some things you wanted but were too scared to ask for in your relationship? To no surprise the most reoccurring response was  *drumroll* THREESOMES.

 

I have absolutely no idea when threesomes started popping up or who was the first man or woman to be like hey let’s get some extra pussy in this mix but it started somewhere and here we are with the age old debate of 

 

  1. Should we have them

  2. What are the rules

  3. If a woman has a threesome with 2 men is it a train

 

All of these questions are valid and my goal through today’s post is to address them from the relationship side, the unicorn side and of course the WHY side. Why do people want this and is their reason a good reason for wanting one?

 

Threesome- a group of three people engaging in the same activity together

Engage- Occupy, attract or involve

Involve- to participate in an activity or situation

 

Let’s just get this part out of the way. A THREESOME IS THREE PEOPLE, JUST BECAUSE YOU DON’T LIKE THE MAKEUP OF GENDERS DOESN’T MAGICLLY MAKE IT A TRAIN. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

 

Should I have a threesome?

 

 

The person most likely asking this question is in a relationship of some sort, I won’t get into the specifics of girlfriend/boyfriend compared to marriage I’ll just say in a relationship. Somehow someway one of the parties has brought up the inevitable threesome discussion and usually the first worry is do I want to share? Valid. Valid as fuck for many reasons. I encourage people to discuss this in pieces. People assume that because someone wants to have a threesome it automatically means something bad, the sex is bad, they aren’t satisfied, they watch too much porn. Honestly some of those things could be true but that’s the point of discussing it. I’m not going to do the hard work of weeding out the pigs who don’t even deserve a threesome, that’s your job. If they can’t commit to the relationship guidelines you all already have, they only perk up about getting another person in the bed, they call you petty for thinking it through? Those people don’t even deserve this convo.

 

The why is important though, because despite how porn makes it look Threesomes are hard fucking work. Let’s be honest, if you can’t handle one dick how you gone handle two tapping out 3 minutes into this thing that took you 3 years to get him on board with. If you can’t make her cum why we adding more to your plate sir? We can’t be handing out basic dick to multiple people, now you embarrassing her in front of company and shit. Threesomes should be about intensifying something and hopefully that something is pleasure. Even when another woman is added it’s not always the man who wanted to add them sometimes it’s the woman. Some men find this offensive but to that I say do NOT condemn your partner for sharing their most intimate fantasies. Do you have to say yes? Hell naw but you shouldn’t condemn and belittle or judge because from that point on they will close you out and you create an avenue for secrets. Women sometimes want another woman because even those who don’t want to admit it can find sensualness arousing. Women have this aura and naturally we are more sensual than men and as a woman sometimes we yearn for more sensualness. For those women who have touched another woman in any way you can probably admit that she just knew what to do, how hard to kiss back or even what to say that sometimes made you feel more connected with her right away. Women are beautiful and we see it probably quicker than you all do. 

 

Now how quickly a woman can turn on you when the male cosigns too easily or seems to anxious to say yea Get Her! If you’re discussing threesomes I feel that the WHY and the JEALOUSY need to be dealt with at the door. If the why is something that you agree with then leave it at that, don’t flip flop. If someone says it’s just a fantasy I want to see how it feels if you say ok I understand when you all dig deeper into the conversation you can’t get mad when they were already honest. You either accept their honesty or not, you accepting and hearing them is not saying YES let’s do this. Jealousy is a big one, do you invite someone else into your bedroom. I’m going to be honest, if your partner would leave you for a threesome they were gone before that 3rdperson was even thought of and YOU missed the signs. Pussy is pussy and unless you just trash as fuck it’s not that big of a difference to make someone drop your shit to go get to know someone else. Jealousy is mostly surrounded around will I be sick if I se my partner do something else with someone, sometimes people say yes to threesomes without considering what it is that you’re going to see. What if someone makes your partner cum harder than usual? What if the 3rdperson says it’s the best sex they’ve ever had? Are you ready to flip flop and be mad again? 

 

Understand that during threesomes or any type of sexual fantasy feelings are heightened, so yes it’s going to be amazing because 1. The person is NEW. That’s natural body reaction if yall been fucking for years even if the 3rdperson dog ass ugly the body still recognizes that it’s the unknown and the body will respond. 2. It’s multiple forms of stimulation if yall doing it right and the body will be aroused 3. You should WANT your partner to feel pleasure

 

I’ll put a pin there, and say AGAIN: YOU SHOULD WANT YOUR PARTNER TO FEEL PLEASURE.

 

If you’re upset at your partner experiencing pleasure then close your phone or your laptop and scratch threesomes of the list because it’s not going to happen. Anything sexual that you decide to do in a relationship should be about pleasure; personally sharing a life is about sharing experiences and pleasures together. If you all choose to do anything make sure you’re ok with the pleasure that comes with it. For ex: You ask your man can you eat his ass because you’ve never tried it. Don’t call that man gay for moaning and it feeling good. If you try things out sexually it should be for the pleasure derived from the action. If you aren’t comfortable with the pleasure possibility then DON’T DO IT DAMNIT!  

 

Now of course someone is reading this and they don’t know HOW to express WHY they want to have a threesome, for some it’s the things we are embarrassed to say so I’ll plant an idea and then we’ll move on to the next point. Maybe your girl wants to have a guest woman because inside she is aroused by women, she has wondered do women eat women better, I mean we have the same anatomy, and nipples and breasts are just so sexy. To suck on a beautiful woman and not have to be confined to behind the screen while watching porn. To be able to kiss a woman and still know that I can fuck my man afterwards? To see my man’s face as he watches me dive into my unknown and enjoy the pleasure she gives me. I never get to actually see my man in action but the idea of watching him bring another woman to orgasm and know FUCK he’s mine and he does that shit right, wow I didn’t realize how sexy he looks while fucking… Damn. But ladies understand how he may be thinking, he may want a guest woman because what’s more beautiful than one woman? Two. The idea of watching my girl either devour another woman or be devoured, they’re just so sensual. To show off for my girl and let her watch me show off for her knowing damn well she gets to take me home after this. To share this with her, I can tell her anything.

 

I’m not saying everyone thinks like this but I am saying that everybody is not using threesomes as a way to secretly cheat. For some its an experience to share together that puts both of you all in an area of higher ecstasy and pleasure, when done correctly. So decide, should you have a threesome? Now moving on…

 

What are the rules?

 

 

After you have decided yes you want to do this I find it best to discuss things as best as you can. What does that mean? It means you can’t what if forever! Well actually you can and we don’t want that. The goal is to discuss what you ABSOLUTELY are NOT okay with and what you are, discuss some scenarios that you all may wonder about to help each other get an idea of how they would be comfortable with you responding in the actual scenario. Now before we get into the rules, whomever decides to be your ‘unicorn’ or guest star is not an outcast. If you aren’t there to make sure that they receive pleasure as well then yall trash and need to start from the top of this blog post! Unless someone is specific about just wanting to please you all then the rules that you all set forth shouldn’t stop the 3rdparty from feeling just as much pleasure as you all. For ex: Don’t eat her out -_______- Bitch stop and start from the top of this post because clearly you not ready for a threesome.

 

Some topics I think should be discussed:

  • Who is a viable candidate (such as ex’s, close friends, strangers) who are you all ok with engaging with and who aren’t you ok with

  • How to go about choosing the person (Will the woman pick her up, do you all want to pick her up together etc.)

  • What type of communication is ok for everyone (will all 3 of you text, talk, just woman to woman or man to man, any side convos ok or no)

  • Physical limits (No kissing, don’t cum in her, don’t swallow his nut, try and finish off with me, start with fucking me first)

  • After threesome Do’s & Don’t’s (Don’t follow them on social, don’t talk separately etc.)

 

Please understand that you can’t discus every scenario, the goal is to discuss enough that your partner can picture your ideal situation and make decisions based off of the info you all have given each other. Also don’t forget to find out your 3rdparties rules because they matter as well, pick a person who’s rules and wants align the best with you all’s.

 

And to my favorite topic thus far in this conversation:

 

Is a woman having a threesome with 2 men a train?

 

 

Please refer to the first three definitions at the beginning of this article. No!!!!! A woman having sex with two men is not a train. But there are a few things that men and women should understand to properly determine how you feel about this.

 

  1. Your idea as a MAN about your woman being fucked by 2 men probably looks VERY different than what she actually wants to happen. In today’s society during a threesome with 2 men involved it’s more of a pissing fest where the 2 men see who can hurt the woman more and exert their power over her best. The 2 men are shown degrading the woman and she looks as if she possibly couldn’t be enjoying herself because it’s always a dick in her throat how cold she even concentrate on reaching an orgasm? Why they banging her so hard, damn are they even worried her PLEASURE? See that’s how threesomes with 2 men are portrayed. 

 

She usually pictures 1 of 2 things or both. The first being overly stimulated and being able to have multiple orgasms and them literally being pulled from her body. In all honesty when men cum the woman is probably just getting started. Our sexual cycles are different and men have to get back hard after ejaculation, which usually requires the woman helping in some way instead of truly being catered too and being allowed to be selfish. After she cums her body is now waking up and can keep cuming over and over. And we understand that fucking is no easy task so sometimes we want nipple stimulation or clit play while being fucked but the rhythm is so hard to maintain, we picture 2 amazing men only catering to us them both offsetting each orgasm so she can feel everything she wants thoroughly without having to pause. Her not having to be pushed down on dick with her mouth but instead getting her pussy eaten while the other kneads her nipples or tongue kisses her without someone telling her, I don’t kiss. True sensuality and being catered to; them working together to make her reach orgasms without being called a hoe but just 2 men who accept the complexity of a woman’s body and accept the challenge without condemning her. 

 

Or the second option of WANTING to be brutally and borderline fucked like a slut.

 

See sometimes we see things that turn us on that we wish wouldn’t and sometimes that includes a ‘gang bang’ visual. As a woman though being raped scares the shit out of us it can also be a fine line of having 2 men who DO value you and are only doing what you ask in a safe space so that way you can have your fantasy and know that when you say stop they STOP and tend to your needs or make sure you’re ok. Not being judged because you like some BDSM or want to see what it’s like to be totally submissive and overpowered without actually being taken advantage of or judged. See men want a lot but when women share how we really feel do you still respect us for our fantasies?

 

  1.  Just because your girl wants to have a threesome with 2 men doesn’t mean you have to be involved. Respecting WHY she may want that and being able to actually handle it are 2 different things. It’s better if you can just say ok it’s ego and I’m just not ready to see that. Maybe she’s already had 2 men but is scared to tell you because she’s herd you always calling it a train and now she can’t share something that was amazing for her, or something that went terribly wrong that she wishes would have gone differently. Either way she should be able to share. What we so really want those of us who do want this 2 man fantasy is a man not concerned about how this fantasy may make me look, was it a train but what we want is a man that can say the only problem we gone have is if you not here to make my girl cum. It’s all about her. 

 

Yes we have a long way to go into this threesome discussion and I’m sure even until the year 2095 this will still be a hot topic, but I do challenge you to take these steps to literally create the ideal threesome situation that you want. Why? Because truthfully the threesome y’all think y’all having correctly are TRASH. 

 

 

It’s so many boundaries because you all haven’t talked, it’s not on equal terms for both parties and of course because y’all not getting truly nasty and sensual to actually enjoy it. If you can’t get past the “Should I have a threesome” part then don’t move forward, don’t be having trash ass threesomes y’all. Peace love and happiness Xoxo

 

Don’t forget to check Instagram @sexualessentials for more posts, topics and please share with a friend. Also be sure to check the #MouthMasterclass schedule and see when we are coming to your city!!!