How We Stayed Intimate After Having A Child
Interviewer: Samia Burton
Why did we interview her? London & her husband had a premature son and learned to grow closer to her husband in spite of it.
SE: Describe your sex life with your husband before your handsome son was born?
London: Before our son was born my husband and I had sex A LOT- but it would come and go. At times we would be al over each other for weeks straight, then we could go weeks without sex.
SE: What kinds of things have you all experimented with? Any favorites in particular? Anything planned in the future?
London: We actually haven’t tried anything that isn’t already a part of our anatomy. My husband really isn’t into toys and things like that. I’ve never used toys from simply not being introduced to them. However, after I told him I was doing this interview we decided we would try more things this year. I told him we should experiment and it’ll be something we can do with each other for the first time, since we weren’t each other’s first sex partners. I also want us to try some “non vanilla” things because I like semi roughness. I think he might be scared. He thinks it’s for white people lol.
SE: Describe you all’s most amazing sexual encounter.
London: There’s been three times my husband and I have had thee most amazing sex. Two of those times we describe it as “our souls touching,” in which our son was conceived through one of those soul touching encounters. But one of the most amazing sex encounters happened just yesterday. I was sooooo lit! His kisses, rubbing, licking, everything- felt a thousand times better. I was shaking from just the smallest touch. He was giving me head and I came 4 times. The dick was bomb too! I think my reactions to him had him turned up too even though he wasn’t lit with me. It was so good I’ve been smiling all day. I normally don’t think about sex, no matter how bomb it is but I couldn’t help myself this time. We’re going to have a lot more encounters like that!
SE: Please explain your transition with sex after becoming a mother.
London: Well my story may be a little different. Since our son was born 13 weeks early, my husband and I had more time to have sex than normal first time parents. We actually didn’t wait 6 weeks, we waited 3½ lol. He also didn’t pull out and I was scared as hell that we would be pregnant at the 6-week check up. I didn’t think I’d want to have sex though because I felt huge, my c-section scar was still hurting and I was depressed about my son. Thankfully though, my husband made me feel pretty and took good care of me. Then all of a sudden I couldn’t say no to his seduction. Once the baby came home, we had sex whenever/wherever we could. If the baby was sleep or with our parents we made that our time to have sex. I must admit my husband and I allowed ourselves to be intimate in just simple ways. We’d cuddle; make out, anything that wasn’t sex.
SE: How have you corrected the intimacy that you felt was lacking on your end of the marriage?
London: Whenever I felt like I was lacking in intimacy on my end of the marriage, I’d give him exactly what he wanted. Him and I do tell each other no, but when he’s begging for it- I give it to him. Honestly, I have a higher sex drive than my husband so he tells me no more than I tell him no. I have to remind him sex is important to me because he’s satisfied with intimacy of any kind.
SE: What’s your sexual fantasy?
London: Is it bad to say don’t have a sexual fantasy? Like I said earlier, I want to try non vanilla things to spice up sex- even though its already bomb. I’ve done the normal sex in a car and sex in the park stuff. I’m so satisfied that I don’t have to fantasize. My husband is literally the best I’ve ever had in anything!
SE: What is something that turns you on that you least expected?
London: Something that turns me on, that I least expected is my husband locs. I love when he’s on top of me and then his hair falls down over me or brushes against my shoulders or something. It’s just so sexy. And then I love when he wears his hair down without pulling it back, instant waterfall.
SE: DO you masturbate? How often? Do you feel ashamed since you are married?
London: This question is so funny because I had to ask if I could answer. He actually didn’t know I masturbated at all. It came up once last year and I told him I did, but he told me that he didn’t so I left it alone. Telling him this time was hilarious because he just couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t see me doing it. He wants to know how I do it. I’m not ashamed to masturbate at all because I do it to the thought of my husband. I always wish it was him, but sometimes he’s not around so I do it myself. I don’t see anything wrong with that.
SE: What tips can you give to the mother who feels there is no time for sex in her marriage?
London: Sex is so important in marriage. It lightens the load sometimes, so make the time! Stay up late and be tired at work- just like we all did in college. Having a sexless marriage just leaves room for the mind to wonder about other people. Make time to please each other, its one of the best pass times in a marriage. Plus no one else can make you feel like him, let him make you feel sexy again.
SE: Do you initiate sex? Do you think it’s important?
London: I will 100% initiate sex. It’s not always up to him. Most of the time, I initiate it. Then I have to remind him that I’m a woman and need to feel desired. When we initiate sex it lets our partner know that we want them. It strokes a man’s ego for us to get wet, squirm and cum because of them. I’ll stroke my man’s ego any time he wants me to if he’s going to be pleasing me like that!
London has written an article as well that was very transparent with her realizations that she had become a ‘bad wife’ you can read it below: