Ma'am, Your Sex Game is WACK.

February 6, 2018

We are equal opportunity realists here at Sexual Essentials so it‘s only fair that we also are the voice for men as we come to you and tell you today that ma’am, your sex game is indeed wack. It may seem like all problems are stemmed from what the man may not be doing but news flash men are NOT mind readers. Do not dog any man out if you have not genuinely sat him down and expressed that what he thought was good definitely was not. Now if sex is bad we believe that both parties are at fault so we shall just jump in explain the role that women play in the bad sex game.

 

1. You don’t speak up when the sex is bad or you fake it so no one knows that you’re unsatisfied.

 

2. Your vagina doesn’t smell like someone should just dive in. So either you don’t stay fresh very long or either you think that just because you showered that morning that you can just throw your cat in somebody face without receiving the side eye. Ma’am stop. Men are basically eating your insides, be polite. (Please feel free to grab some of our Gina Yoni Oil in the shop, legit have you like WATER)

 

3. You’re a starfish. What’s a starfish?

 

YOU JUST LAY THERE!!!!

 

You don’t do any of the work; do you know how much work has to be put in to go in and out of someone? Why do you think people end up sweaty?!

 

4. You’re not gripping the dick. We don’t mean with your hands we mean with your insides. You should be doing your kegels on his dick when you’re having sex, grab it don’t be afraid. If you need help learning to grip it better please refer to our article called The Yoni and All Her Glory.

 

5. You don’t initiate sex. I do agree that if a man wants you that he should come and get you but after a sexual relationship has been started there is no reason that the only time you all are having sex is because he has to tap you on the shoulder. Men need to feel like you want them too, they need to feel like you’re attracted and have to have them just as much as you do. It takes work to muster up the energy to initiate sex after a long day. It’s a two way street.

 

6. You don’t suck dick or you act like you don’t care about it. It’s very obvious that you don’t like to do it. Basically your head game is not very good. At all. Trash.

 

Let’s put our pride aside and break into a renaissance of caring about our lovers pleasure regardless of that meaning we have to accept that we need help in certain areas. Ladies let us do better, as easy as it is to critique a man on his moves let’s make sure we aren’t being 100% dependent on them to bring the Big O. As we told the fellas we don’t break people down without the intention to build them back up, so no worries stay tuned for our tips on how to improve the sex game.

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